Fujitsu - Die Parteien sind fassungslos - Die PARTEI bietet Lösungen.

Augsburg: Rathausplatz | Fujitsu muss schwäbisch bleiben.
Trump und Kim haben es vorgemacht. Miteinander reden hilft einfach.
Die PARTEI geht noch einen Schritt weiter und kommt mit einem Bündel an Lösungen statt an Forderungen.
Wir haben das kurz und knapp in einem offenen Brief an die Japaner formuliert.

Open letter to the big boss of Fujitsu – Augsburg Nov 2018

Konnichi wa Mr Tatsuya Tanaka

We are the regional arm of the upcoming german political party Die PARTEI.
We nearly won the previous bavarian elections - thousands of people voted for us.
Also people working for your company Fuijtsu we guess.
And now - we opend our inferior newspaper and what must we read?
You decided to close the Augsburg computer factory.
And now? „Amari genki janai desu“ or as we say „ich bin nicht gut drauf“

My japanese friend I am disapointed.

Germany and Japan have so much together.
We both love good food. We even catch tuna dolfin friendly, so you can eat them too.
We both love Beethoven.
We both live in overaged societies where incontinence products are a big business.
We both do not really love the chinese and -
we both lost World War Two, for both it started well and it ended up in a desaster, only second place.
Because of these damned american.
As a revenge, we both destroid the american car industry in the 80s. Yeah.

And now, you kill the factory in my hometown.

A town is as old as Japan. Your country is ruled by a japanese cesar, our town was founded by a roman cesar. The romans brought us knifes and spoons. Tools your country first discovered when american troops came in 1945.

Since then a lot of water run down the Lech and the Wertach, Tschernobyl blew up, the wall opened, Fukushima blew up and our friendship looked endless.

And now, you kill the factory in my hometown.
Why? Its all about money!!

But listen - hope is near.
Die PARTEI ist sehr gut or Die PARTEI saikou desu as you say in your funny language.
So we present the solution for your money problem.

First; Pay the chiefs less money - so you have more money in your pocket.
Second: Let the assembly line run faster, so you produce more computer in the same time - so you have more money in your pocket.
Third: Switch off the light when you leave the room - so you have more money in your pocket.
and forth and last - change the name of the company.

Fujitsu sounds like a moist fart. You can’t sell computer with this name.
We asked thousands of people on Tinder about a new name and finally, there are two.
The people love german engineering worldwide, you know, even more than yours.

So one tip is renaming under a strong german brand:
„APFEL Computer“.
First it sounds wired, but its great. People will talk soon about APFEL Campus, APFEL Stores, APFEL Keynotes and so on. It is amazing.
The second one belongs to your japanese roots:
„Sushi System Computer“. Sushi is popular all over the world, people love it. It is a livestyle symbol. And in the short form „SS Computer“ you will be soon number one in the east german market. For shure.

So you see, it makes no sense to close the factory. With our brilliant ideas (you get them for free) you make enough money in Augsburg, otherwise oyasumi nasai to our friendship.

So Mr Tabernakel - we count on you.
Now you are on the train - keep the factory open!
Don’t force us, to call Godzilla!

Looking foreward to see you at the great reopening with 30% discount on all.

Bezirksvorstand Schwaben


We thank Mr Oettiger for helping us to translate this thing.
Diesen Autoren gefällt das:
5 Kommentare
Alfred Fasching aus Thierhaupten | 09.11.2018 | 15:51  
Peter Maier aus Augsburg - City | 09.11.2018 | 18:39  
Paul Müller aus Augsburg - City | 09.11.2018 | 22:31  
Lisa Jankowski aus Augsburg - City | 10.11.2018 | 12:23  
Andreas Bornhauser aus Neusäß | 10.11.2018 | 15:40  
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